Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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