so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
