I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
