At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
