i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
