I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
