i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
