Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
