I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize