I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
