I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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