I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
