So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
