it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
