In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
