eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
