Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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