Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
