letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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