So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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