I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
