Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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