I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
