Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
