I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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