She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
