I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
