yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
