Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
