I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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