The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
