Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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