Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
