just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you had me at cake vodka
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize