Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
