Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
