So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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