It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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