return my video game
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
