i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
