I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
