ugly people sure do ruin things
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
