there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
dude. I can hear the air.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
