My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The air taste purple.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
