My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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