i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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