somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
