ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
