Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
