who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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