then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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