He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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