Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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