I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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