It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
